The Center for Inexplicable Phenomena announced today that, on or about October 28th, 2015, a Mr. Rod Miner crawled through a coat hanger. The mystery of why he would undertake such a challenge ranks right up there with questions such as ‘how does a boa constrictor know what prey is too large for it to swallow’, and ‘what is it that impels a chicken to cross a road’? What is known is that, upon being handed a coat hanger by an unassuming bystander, Mr. Miner, instead of placing his jacket upon it, instead inserted his hands and head into the triangle of metal wire and then sought to pass his body through it. We can speculate as to what proximal influence prompted this and the following actions, but we need not wonder about the history of this effort. In a statement made upon hearing of this incident, Professor Emeritus John Cook recounts the rites of (literal) passage that were endured by students who studied Cave Geomorphology at Southwest Missouri State University in the latter part of the 20th century. “They would tell those kids that it was ‘practice for crawling through tight cave passages’, and those dumb kids would believe it! You would see them out in the hallway, struggling to get their skinny teenage butts through those coat hangers. We laughed till we about peed our pants.” Professor Cook recalled that Mr. Miner took the Cave Geomorphology class, and may indeed have been one of those who attempted the coat hanger at a young age. What mystifies him, though, is why an older, heavier, less flexible person, one who should be considering retirement to an easy chair, would attempt what only a gullible youngster would otherwise be convinced to do. Alcohol could possibly have been have factor, but the he does not think it was necessarily so. “Rod is wired a little different”, the distinguished professor offered. Photographic evidence clearly reveals that transiting the hanger was a struggle. Red marks were clearly visible on the adventurer’s shoulders and chest, even several days after the event. When attempting to straighten his shoulders the following day, he would wince with each effort, and his eye would twitch. A few times each hour he would suddenly expand his chest and take an extra deep breath, seemingly just to assure himself that he still could. Despite these physical and psychological scars, Mr. Miner seems to take a bit of foolish pride in his exploit. He did make it all the way through the clothes hanger, and apparently thinks that this proves some sort of point. He also thinks that kids should definitely try hanger crawling. He recommends, however, that if you are a full grown adult, you should make your attempt only outside your local hospital, close to the entrance to an Emergency Room. He also recommends that, if you are going that far anyway, go ahead and get naked and smear oil all over your body, to make it a little easier; no one will think any less of you. His final suggestion: seek out the biggest coat hanger in the house, not just the first one handed to you.